It's kind of a paradox. Getting old. In this context, the sporting context, getting old is specifically defined as "getting old enough that your hormone levels drop significantly, and you DO notice it."
It's like one of those "I never thought it could happen to me." One day in my 30s I was getting drunk 3 times a week, powerlifting 4 times a week, and still somehow making it to work 5 days a week. My lifts went up if I blew on the bar.
Then, around age 38, it all changed. In most cases the typical "old guy" or masters cutoff is 35, but there is some variance between people. I was a late bloomer in puberty so it would make sense that the air would drain out of my recovery balloons (testes? lol) a little late too.
It'd be really easy to indulge the sob story--pity me, young whipper snappers, it's like I have a disease called age where everything I do physically or socially costs me twice as much as it costs you. And it's kind of true, you do notice it. I look at my lifting stats from 10 years ago (and I keep pretty good stats) and I wonder if another person was doing them.
But that shit about aged wisdom is TRUE. And it's not just some automatic thing granted to older people as a consolation prize, or to make younger people feel inferior or stupid. In fact, not all older people become wise. People always advise you to respect your elders, but some truly are not worthy of respect, because they don't do the work--the work to build the wisdom.
Because wisdom comes from examining our failures. People can act like they are born with it, or that there is some magical gene they posses that confers it on them, but that is just narcissism and self-promotion. The only reason older people are wise is because they have been through more shit, and I am not talking about the "good times."
The fun times probably do confer some wisdom in that they remind us that life is precious and that we should cherish the opportunity to share great moments with other people because you never know when that person whose arm yours is around in that photo may be gone forever. But it is more likely the loss of that person, or the loss of health, or the onset of extremely fragile exercise recovery that actually increases and improves the contextual intelligence of older people.
If I had to draw a hard line between the older people who are not wise, and the ones who are, it'd probably be drawn at those who wish they were young again, and those who are happy with where they are. One of the most powerful aspects of wisdom is the loss of concern for regret. You are who you are at the time where you are, in the place where you are, and in the body you have, let's get going.
Our culture is many things. It's complex; there is no "hard urging" or necessarily a sinister influence (that I know of) which strives to make people feel dissatisfied with life (other than advertisers?), but for whatever reason, there is a lot of influence in the direction of wishing and regret. The desire to move backward. Restoration products, movie remakes, reflection, nostalgia, youth worship. Certain segments and voices in our society act like young people are the only people who are worth anything. Maturity and wisdom is the ability to see through all this occluded nonsense, and to clearly envision gratitude for NOW, for where you are, and who you are. Present-mindedness.
In a BJJ context, my view is that elder wisdom means enjoying the social aspect more. People are sharing and risking their bodies with you, being playful in a way that we should have never lost. Enjoy the personalities you meet. Enjoy the opportunity, the privilege, of still being able to move your spine and legs, like so many other people in this world cannot. Even if you move them poorly, even if you get choked over and over. Every time you fail to die when someone chokes you, it should be a reminder that you are still here, and are fortunate enough to still have whatever physical, mental, familial, and social assets you do have.
It can mean being realistic about training frequency, instead of giving into peer pressure and competitive hysteria. Love golfing? Love spending 3x/week watching movies with your wife? Then train less. There is no punishment for training less. The biggest gap in skill, fitness, knowledge, and other rewards exists between training 0 times and training once a week.
Someone who is 20 who happens to have the time and money may train 12x/week. That's fine. Balance is either something you find, or it is something that finds you. If you find it first, it's more kind to you. When it finds you, there are often consequences.
Many people who obsess over one activity or skill at the expense of every other aspect of life that creates a good balance--friends, family, love, spirit, work, health, etc., end up paying for it later on. I know because I used to be one. And I guess the only reason I do know, is because of wisdom. Balance found me. Yet again, nothing special about me, just old enough to have failed. Thus my case for wisdom being a natural feature of the aged landscape, rather than some form of magic.
It's kind of funny though, because younger people rarely seek out the advice of older people. Some are just blind, some are worried that elders will present defeatist, overly "realistic" viewpoints, and they sometimes do. But often they do the opposite. They encourage you to chase what you love, but to also make an effort to stay grounded, and balance is what it is all about.
Clarify what you love, pursue it in an avid but balanced way, and if some day that sentiment changes, don't bother giving into regret--just carefully change course, and pursue something else. Even having the privilege to pursue more than one loved activity in a lifetime is a blessing reserved for the fortunate, most people the world over never get the opportunity to even do really one thing they love.
There is nobody so fortunate in this world as the person who manages to not only master the thing they love, but to make a healthy living off it, all while maintaining enough balance that they still have genuine connection back to their humanity, in the form of friends, love, family, spirit.
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